


Memories

by anna_liz_fiction



Series: Supernatural [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (not in the fic), Angst, Death, Drabble, Emotions, F/M, Sad, Short, readerinsert - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9480239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_liz_fiction/pseuds/anna_liz_fiction
Summary: Fandom: SupernaturalPairing: Gabriel x Reader (female pronouns used)Warnings: Heartbreak, Death (not in the story), AngstWords: ~915Writer:  Liz





	

Getting out of bed had been a challenge the last three years. And even if you made it – your days were overtaken by sorrow. You felt like a machine in some ways. Everything you did you did the same way as the days before.  
Wake up, make some coffee, maybe take a shower if you felt like it and after that you'd just be sitting around all day, every now and then you'd research something for the Winchester brothers, but even they seemed to busy to call you once in a while.  
Also, your diet now considering of mostly store bought frozen dinners, even though cooking and baking used to be one of your favorite things to do.  
But that was the point, it used to be. Now it just reminded you of him. How he loved your cooking and would nag you every day to bake something he liked. After all, he was known for his notorious sweet tooth.  
However, everything about your life and everything you had thought you knew about yourself had changed three years ago, when he had died.  
It had broken your heart to see the light go out in his beautiful golden colored eyes. You still remembered most of what had happened that day, but the memories faded into nothingness after you sat crying next to his now empty vessel.  
The next thing you remembered was waking up in the bunker. The brothers had apparently taken you with them after finding you passed out next to the cold and dark imprints of Gabriel's wings.  
You had continued to live with them for a few days, but their knowing and pained expressions every time you had entered a room was not what you needed at that time.  
What you had needed, or so you thought, was some time to yourself. Just a couple days with no one bothering you had been all you wanted. But then, a week turned into a month and a month turned into a year and you felt more alone than ever before.  
Getting out of your flat was so difficult for you and every single time you had tried to, it had ended in a disaster. Once, about a year ago, you had even attempted to go to a bar with the brothers. Dean had thought you should socialize a little bit more, maybe even try to meet someone new.  
No one had caught your eye that night. The few people you found attractive there all had something to them that reminded you of him again. You had left the bar that night crying with Sam having to drive you home. 

*** 

You had wept about his passing, but mostly you just emptied your heart out to Sam about all the things you missed, all the memories that were triggered by everyday situations.  
Sam understood you so much more than anyone you had met after Gabe's death. He too had lost someone he loved right in front of his eyes.  
“Every time I go shopping, Sam!” the tears still streamed down your face as you gazed outside the  
foggy car window “I have to think of him, how he used to drag me to the candy aisle every damn time! Do you know what I would do to have that happen one more time?”  
“Yeah,” he said, breathing in harshly, probably trying not to start crying as well. “Jess used to make me go out with her every Halloween even though I hated it. At least that's only once a year”  
You sniffed and turned your head around to face him. Sam seemed so broken and small when he talked about Jess and you wondered if you appeared the same when you talked about your angel.  
“What is there do Sam?” you tried to smile, just so you could keep the tears at bay for now. “Can we even fix ourselves? Be normal again? That's what they would've wanted right?”  
Sam seemed to avoid your gaze as he answered you.  
“As Dean once told me (Y/N), there is no normal in our line of work and there won't ever be a state of 'normal' in our lives at all. It's not the uplifting thing you want to hear, but the realistic one you need to.”  
He was so right. You didn't like his words, but you knew they were the truth. The rest of the ride was spent in silence, with a few shaky breaths from both of you disturbing it every now and then.  
When you got to the run-down building he turned to you before you could leave the car and said:  
“I'm sorry (Y/N), I genuinely am, but there is nothing anyone can do. You'll pull through this I promise. It's hard to get over something as hard as the death of a loved one, but it's possible to remain yourself somehow. Give us a call if you need anything, alright?”  
“Yeah sure. Thanks for the ride, Sam” you smiled at him as you got out of the car.  
Still, you spend the rest of the night thinking about his words and contemplating what to do with yourself. Gabriel would have wanted you to be happy and you knew so much, but it was incredibly hard to even fake a smile.  
***  
But his death had struck you too hard and you weren't sure if you could recover from it like Sam did with Jess.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think, I may continue this ~


End file.
